Lip Sync! (Three Songs)

I was just really bored sitting at my house, waiting for time to fly by. I was running on twenty-four hours of no sleep. So I lipsynced three different songs:) Check them out and tell what you think. Thanks. Oh, and I will write my newest blog on July 2. When I get back home from camp. See ya'll. 

[Bad Day] - Lip Sync

[Eye of the Tiger] -Lip Sync

[Mr. Sandman] -Lip Sync

Tomorrow is the day.

Well today is my last day home. I will be leaving tomorrow at 5:45a.m. for Summer Scream (youth camp). It's located in Rushville, IL. It's about a seven hour drive from here in Carrollton, Ky. I will be out of this place, and who knows. While, I am gone I might be able to get some more thoughts for my Novel.
Another thing. About today. I met some Authors. It was a great experience. I had heard of a couple of the books by the three Authors. I really wanted to get one of the books and have them sign it, but my mom wouldn't let me get one right then and now. She was actually just in the Book Place for her books she is needing for school. I got to meet Magdalena Scott, Jan Scarbrough, and Maddie James. I am definitely going to have to buy a couple of their books. My first one will probably be the Ladies of Legend series.
Now I must make sure I have everything packed and I am not forgetting anything..Clothes (Check), Shoes (Check), Shampoo (Check), Conditioner (Check), Towels (Check)...yep. I seem to have everything I need, as of now.

About Me..Most People Do Not Know!

Okay, So I have plans for my future. And Sometimes I speak out loud without thinking first. What can I say? I take some many things after my father, Billy. I don't like people talking while I am talking. I hate it when people interrupt me. I hate the color Green. I don't like running. I love to walk. I love dodge ball. I hate squares, but I love circles. I find Vampires and Dark things awesome. I love Purple&Black. The slightest things interest me. I do the opposite of what people tell me to do. I live for my lord and savior Jesus Christ. I get along with everybody. I don't hate anyone. Hate is a strong word. I love taking things to extreme measures. If someone was standing on a bridge about to jump, I would be right there beside them trying to talk them out of it. I like shiny things. I love new surroundings. I try new things rather it's stupid or fun. I'll try anything once. I am a Fear Factor type of person. I don't really like smiling, unless I have to. I love taking pictures, but I hate School pictures. I love to write, sometimes to much detail. I'm a curious type of person. I'm protective of others. I have a huge family. I am like #37 of 100 Grandchildren. I am an only child. My Parents are more like siblings to me. I love English. I hate Math and Science. Last time I checked I was a sixteen year old female. I pretty short (5'3") Cute cartoons amaze me. I like Arbys. I am a Junior! Size 8 in shoes. haha. I think short people are cute. I think long words are funny. I can't pronounce Wedding Ring right. My besfriends are Erika and Danielle. I got a newest member of my friends, and I truly adore him. Anthony. I often talk to myself. I like my own company. I love Long Horns bread. I love ferrets, they are my favorite animal. I love cute logo shirts. I love Lemons:). I often go into a daydream. I can't focus on something for too long. I'm addicted to facebook. I love texting. Ewan McGregor is cute:) I love tomato&Pickle juice. Swiss Cheese is good.

and..Guess what?

I'm Courtney Walker. 

Thanks for reading:)

One More..Day.

Today has been pretty good. I have to finish packing by tomorrow and make sure I have everything. because I am leaving this Sunday for Summer Scream:) I have the rest of tonight, then tomorrow. On Sunday morning I have to be up by 5:00A.M. because I have to be at church by 5:45A.M. I can't wait. I hoping that when I go, I will be able to learn more of the word of God. and maybe learn to change myself around. I'm not saying it will change my life, but I am looking to find who God truly wants me to be.

Three Movies, Wonderful, Lovable

I have watched three different movies within the last week and they have all put me on the edge of my seat:) First, I watched "Leap Year", "When in Rome" & "Remember Me..." These three movies we're very good and very recommending. Definitely "Remember Me..." I never cried so hard on a movie since my favorite movie Moulin Rouge. I loved how these movies we're definitely in my favorite category of a genre "Romance" and I would really recommend you try watching these movies, If not all of them..I'd really recommend "Remember Me..."

Feelings that shall pass

I had one of my feelings again. Not the best time for me to begin thinking about this. I just know in time everything shall pass and I must move on with it all in my past. I couldn't believe it how I was just sitting here watching a video of someone's story they made on youtube, and it reminded me of so much that I have loved and lost. I know I can conquer this pain..I just have to try my hardest and believe I can.
As I move along and start to occupy myself, I shouldn't have to feel it anymore. I just need to remember that everything in the past is in the past for a reason, and there is a reason that any of it isn't in my future.

Friends...Again!

I did something this morning I didn't think I was ever going to do. I texted Kimberly and told her that I was sorry for everything. I didn't think I was going to do it. I didn't think I could ever apologize, but I realized that the fight between us wasn't just her fault. but, mine too. I told I was sorry and that she didn't need to forgive me, but she did. and we're friends again! I don't know if we'll ever be best friends, but as long as we're friends..I will perfectly happy.

Beautiful...

I heard one of the most beautiful songs that I have ever heard in my existence. The words within the song touched me. I couldn't believe on how it made me feel as a heard those words come out the guys mouth. The words sending waves through my head causing me to just relax and want to hear it over and over again. Like a never ending force. It's called "Hands to Heaven" by Breathe. I know it's an older song, in the 1980's to be exact, but I had just heard it recently and I fell in love with it.

Preface (to my novel)

The rain pouring upon my face. Pouring down from my forehead into my eyes, hiding the tears I had cried. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Getting kicked out of your own home at sixteen years old. This was the final straw. My dad didn't want me anymore. I disappointed him, but he is the one that is a disappointment to our family. He's a drug addict and he tells I am the one that needs help. My mother couldn't of stopped him even if she wanted to. He would beat her when was drugged and sober. What was I going to do? I lost my mom, my family and my home, all in one day. I had no place to go.
Walking, shivering, losing blood from where my dad had hit me in the face. I didn't know what to do, so I sat on the corner of twelfth Avenue in the pouring rain for about twenty minutes until a car pulled up beside the street next to me.
"Do you need a lift?" the voice inside the car said. I stood up and caught my balance, but then fainted. Did I mention that I hadn't ate? 

June. 23. 2010

Well, as of now it is June 23rd 2010. 

I have exactly three days to be ready for Summer Scream. I have to be up around 5-5:30am Sunday morning and have to be at the church by 6:00am. It is going to so much fun. I can't wait to go. There is actually only about a total of five or six of us going and I don't really talk to the people that will going too. So I don't know how the trip there will be like. No idea on how long of a drive it is, so for the most part I will probably be sitting by myself writing my novel. listening to music and texting (around dinner). Until then, I'll be sleeping. 

(My Living room just brighten up real quick, the sun is rising)

Anyways, I have to begin packing today after I actually finally fall asleep and such. I haven't got the slightest clue to as to what I will be taking. but I know one thing..When I get to Summer Scream, I won't be able to have my cellphone. I'll be able to have it all the way, until we get there. Six days without my cellphone. Whoa. I certainly hope I will be occupied. But I am sure I will. I'll be gone from June/27-July/2. 

Then on July 4, I have my cousin Debbie & Boo's fourth of July hogroast:) Can't Wait. My Friend, Erika has to stay with me that Sunday, so she will going with us. Yippee. 

On July 5, We will all be leaving for Family Vacation to Laurel Lake. My aunt Crystal got to take her new boyfriend, so I get to take my bes-tie Erika. It's going to be a great a fun week. Even if the family trip is only for four days. haha. 

Then...July 11, I have my family reunion. Erika might go with me to this too. I haven't really asked my parent's about this one yet, but I'm pretty sure they won't mind it, even the thought of my family reunion I'll know I am going to be really bored. So Erika could keep me company. Especially, on the big inflatables:)

Bed

Hmm. Well Today is Wednesday. And I still haven't been to bed. For some reason for the past few nights I haven't been getting to bed until about 4:30am. It's not because I want to stay up, but it's where I can't sleep. I toss and turn. And today, well yesterday..I still can't sleep, but this time I haven't slept yet. It's been almost, not quite, but almost twenty-four hours since I have been awake. It's sitting here being 7:06am. At least this way, I have all kinds kind of stuff on my mind that I have written about at least two or three things so far.
I'm not even tired. It's more of a boring feeling, than a tired feeling. And...in about an hour my parents will be waking up for work, and if I am still awake they will probably be asking me "Why are you still up? Have you went to bed yet?" and my answer will be. "Nope."

Best.Friends

Since about a week ago, I lost my best friend, Kimberly. I couldn't handle fighting with her any longer, one minute we we're best friends, the next we we're fighting. It goes to show that she wasn't truly my Best Friend, because all my friends know that I have quite a temper and that sometimes I speak with thinking about it. She took everything seriously. She didn't understand anything that I talked about, yeah she tried. but it never seemed to be an "honest" awarding opinion that I was looking for. I thought she was my best friend, but turns out my best friend was always staring me in the face. I guess I just wanted to know what it felt like to have a new best friend. It's great to know that I still have my old (two) best friends in the world with me. Danielle & Erika. They didn't go far, but I'm glad I am back with them. I felt lost all those times that I wasn't with them. And Well...When I left, they begin to move closer as best friends. I started to feel left out, but turns out that I was doing the same thing to them. I don't ever want to feel like that again, because another weird thing about is. That I have known Dani since Kindergarden. And Well..Erika moved her when I move back in the seventh grade. We became really good friends, especially after she had lost her best friend, Elizabeth. Something from all this that I have learned is that, Friends don't live you behind. I mean sure you'll quarrel and such. But you'll always find you way back home to where you belong.
Thank you,
 Courtney

Summer? Boring

I have taken my time out of writing on my blog. Why? You may ask. Well I haven't really had much to say, it's summer and it's quite boring. All I can think of is that all I have done for the past months since school has been out is...Oh My! I've already been out of school for a month? Whoa. How time flies. Well, All I have done is practically sit on my couch on my laptop.
It's been a boring Summer I can tell you that much. Except this Sunday. I will be leaving. Thank you!

My Letter To My dad

Well I feel like I am being trapped and not giving opportunity i should have. So I wrote my dad a three page letter to what I hope he can understand and let alone all the past and start off new. To let me decide for myself how my life should go and let me make my own mistakes in the process. To trust me. To give me the freedom that I feel like I deserve.

If only

I love it how my day can be going terribly until I see you in the hallway. Seeing you're face even if you don't know if I exist, just brightens my day. 

I really wonder when I pass you and you glance at me just the one second if I ever cross your mind when you cross mine. 

I wonder if when I'm lying in bed and I see you when I close my eyes, do you see me when you close yours. 

I wonder if you ever talk about me when I talk about you.

I wonder if you could actually like me, instead of me always daydreaming about you. 

If only you were the guy I wish you was. 

The type of guy that doesn't care what other people think. 

The type of guy that would show me to your friends.

The type of guy that wouldn't care what your friends would think of me. 

If only...

If only...you loved me. 

If only you loved me like I love you.

Illusion

Sometimes I feel like ending it all with shattered glass upon the window. With the shadows upon my last breath and the whispers within my mind. It's all going to be an ending disaster. Lately the pain has began to sink inside, creating a illusion of fear...the fear of never returning to reality. I fear my life itself is trying to tell me something but I can't work the right buttons to make it all go. It all feels like my life has come to a dead stop...a dead end leading nowhere. Something, someone out there isn't ready to be discovered, not just yet. I know there is something pulling me towards a path I'm scared to take. A never-ending road. Like a totally different world beyond this one. Giving us all a weird look on life within our own souls given to us, for a very good reason. If only each and every one of us had a soul and heart to look into each other to see what the other person was truly and painfully feeling.

A question to think about is: Do you ever look at someone and wonder what there lives are truly like? Like it would be to be in their shoes? Would you ever think about giving up to understand why some of us treat others the way we do?

I don't understand is, if the world was to end tomorrow, I just wish we could of found that one true love at the end of the road and wonder what it truly felt like to be loved for once and feel the emotions. To be loved for who we truly are and there would be no regret within our souls, nothing to lose or regret. At the end of the day, daily..I sit back and wonder what did I do wrong today? Why am I still sitting here and wishing my life was like a fairytale? Why aren't with someone that loves for who I am and thank God for it? I don't know. I just haven't gotten my chance in the spotlight of anything. I haven't accomplished anything, not yet.

Crying and eating isn't always the explanation for anything we do and say. Some of us, speak out of hate when we're around people. Some of us speak out of fear. And some. Well some of us just don't speak at all. Not being loved or wanted can/will cause some of us to do some of the most excruciating things. There are people out there that will go through life normal. Until, they are behind closed doors. Then they begin to be in a depressed stage. Some of us, just don't want to feel like a part of the world. To be alone, is the only thing most of us have anymore. When other people see this person, they brush it off and don't give a dang*. But, do you even realize what this world and emotions have done to these people? Do you understand most of us, are being tortured from the outside-in. To be wanted and love is all the most of us want and need at the moment. We created our own little world, because you decide to push most of us out. You create an illusion to block us. To most of us, it isn't (and shouldn't be) based on looks. It's what's within the soul and heart. What comes from within is what counts.

Think about the most things in life. Being cherished and loved for who you are is the most precious thing we could ever look for in this lifetime. Think about what you're doing before you ever begin to do it. It could change your life without you even knowing it. The slightest thing could help change your life around and maybe become something and someone that will maybe be important in this world. We're all special in our own ways; and we're all created to be who we are rather it's skinny, chubby, big-boned, or even fat. But we're all loved and cherished in one way or another. There is and will be someone out there for everyone, no matter what other people say by saying you'll never get anyone. It isn't true. We're all pretty, gorgeous, or even beautiful in our own way. We just have to find our inter-beauty. Our true path toward destiny.


Thanks,

Courtney Walker