I don't understand how I'm in a relationship. I really don't, there are so many things are negative about me. Like let's do my size. I am wanting to lose weight so badly, and I have to admit I've lost over 30lbs since I had my daughter. But that doesn't count for me. It really doesn't. There are so many things that I can't do that a skinny girl can. 

I can't jump on my boyfriends back. 

I can't just randomly jump around on him. 

I don't even want to get married because I know I won't be able to be carried over the threshold. I just don't want to deal with it. I'm not skinny and I can't do what a lot of skinny girls can. If it isn't one thing, it's truly another.