How could I just believe it?

Looking back at my previous post "Coming to a Conclusion", it really just begins to make me wonder and think about so much. I wrote that post in March and I felt like at that time, mine and Jordan's relationship was getting so much better. Rather it was in that instant or with time. I didn't know what that month had in store for me or the decisions that we'd make together or separate. 

Jordan says I've changed a lot in the past few months and I do have to admit, even agree with him that I have changed. For the better? Or for the worst? I really don't know...I can't really say much about it. I do believe I have changed quite a bit because I had to grow up when I knew we were having a baby. But I have changed so much all together because being so scared of what is to happen next, then your whole personality begins to change from good to worse. Jordan has actually changed me. Our relationship in the beginning was us always going and doing stuff together, but now that were a family, it's like he doesn't have time for me. And imagine how I feel about all of this when not even two months ago...everything was different. 

I was in the brink of losing everything because I was so scared to carry on our relationship. I was so scared to move in from what had happened. Every day is still a battle for me, but I try so hard to remind myself that it was a mistake. It was only one time that he did it to me. I'm still trying to look past it, but it worried me so, to just try to overlook such things.