It's happening...It's happening and I cannot deny it.
I'm falling for Jordan and I don't want to turn away now. I have been hurt and thrown away (literally) too many times to count that I just feel as if this is my [new] beginning that I have been waiting for in my life. I know I have talked, and talked, and talked...about multiple guys in my life throughout this selfish blog of mine, but I am beginning to feel something that I'm not sure I've felt before. It's a new feeling, it's a strong and empathetic feeling that overwhelms how I ever felt about Jacob.
I told my mother that when I'm with Jordan, it's as if Jacob never existed, once...once in my life. It has to mean something, I mean C'mon! You can't spend eleven months of your life with one man and one man only, then be so committed to him, and when someone else comes into your life it's like...'Who are you talking about? I don't know that person.'
It's a strong and powerful feeling that I get when I'm with Jordan. Just by sitting beside him and talking to him, my heart begins to pound so fast and hard that sometimes I forget what I'm doing. Being with him, it's a controllable feeling that is no longer Lust. When the day comes that I spend with Jordan, it's like the world doesn't exist around us.
I have noticed...When I'm with Jordan and the song "Stay" by Black Stone Cherry comes on, if I'm singing when I'm with him, he can see the pain in my eyes. The power of how much the words upon that song can effect me in one slight moment or verse. If I'm singing the lyrics, my eyes get pale and my lips move upon the motion...he'll lean in and grab my chin, then kiss me. I forget. I forget how I feel or even felt about Jacob.
I'm falling for Jordan and I don't want to turn away now. I have been hurt and thrown away (literally) too many times to count that I just feel as if this is my [new] beginning that I have been waiting for in my life. I know I have talked, and talked, and talked...about multiple guys in my life throughout this selfish blog of mine, but I am beginning to feel something that I'm not sure I've felt before. It's a new feeling, it's a strong and empathetic feeling that overwhelms how I ever felt about Jacob.
I told my mother that when I'm with Jordan, it's as if Jacob never existed, once...once in my life. It has to mean something, I mean C'mon! You can't spend eleven months of your life with one man and one man only, then be so committed to him, and when someone else comes into your life it's like...'Who are you talking about? I don't know that person.'
It's a strong and powerful feeling that I get when I'm with Jordan. Just by sitting beside him and talking to him, my heart begins to pound so fast and hard that sometimes I forget what I'm doing. Being with him, it's a controllable feeling that is no longer Lust. When the day comes that I spend with Jordan, it's like the world doesn't exist around us.
I have noticed...When I'm with Jordan and the song "Stay" by Black Stone Cherry comes on, if I'm singing when I'm with him, he can see the pain in my eyes. The power of how much the words upon that song can effect me in one slight moment or verse. If I'm singing the lyrics, my eyes get pale and my lips move upon the motion...he'll lean in and grab my chin, then kiss me. I forget. I forget how I feel or even felt about Jacob.
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