A Break-Up & A Sad Song

On March 22, 2011; Dylan and I broke up. I don't understand it. I thought everything was going fine; but, he broke up with me without any explanation. I had went to his house a few hours earlier that day after school and I could tell something was up. He didn't say I'll see you tomorrow or even a good-bye kiss like he always gave me. We text throughout the time being that I had left his house. It was good just talking him; but, later that night he text me saying "we need to talk" and next thing I knew, he texts me back and says "it's over". I asked if I had done something wrong and he told me no. I asked him why he wanted to break up and all he told me was that I wouldn't understand. Now, we broke up and all I knew was, I was heartbroken. 

I'm the type of person that does not believe that you can fall in love with someone after only a week, month or even sometimes a few months, almost a year. My beliefs is that I don't think it's possible; but, for someone like me not to believe that, I feel as if I did fall in love. I felt as if I did fall for a great guy and that I would be happy. Dating Dylan was the best thing that had happened to me in the longest time. I was finally happy and coming out of my depression. I was finally going somewhere, even making my life better for myself and others. 

Later, that night I just text him back with an "Okay!" and he didn't text back. He waiting about an hour later before he sent me a message saying "I'm an Ass Hole". I knew that he was being an asshole; but, all I could do was ask him why he thought he was; all he told me was, because i know i am. I never talked to him again that night. I was so hurt and felt like I had been ripped apart. I screamed. I cried myself to sleep that night and I didn't know what I was going to do the next day. I have tried to make it seem like it doesn't bother me; but, it's getting so hard to pretend anymore. It hurts more and more everyday. 

I have tried and tried to make it seem like it doesn't hurt me; but, I'm so scared right now and I feel as if I have no reasoning. It's not the term of being useless; it's just a feeling that I have right now that I don't feel like I can move an inch. An inch, right now feels like a mile.

I cried and cried trying to make myself feel better and all I could do was listen to the song "Nothing Compares 2 U" I woke up the next morning and apparently I was crying in my sleep; My pillow was soaked with tears I had cried. What do I do now? Go to sleep every night, thinking of what could have been and sleeping along side my build-a-bear, once again!