When will it ever end

It's 1:25am and I'm still alive and kicking...I'm not even sleepy yet but yet I have the sudden urge to fall over onto my pillow. Which is in the other room while I'm sitting in the back bedroom and connecting to a small internet.

So I've been thinking all night..Where is my path leading towards now? I'm wondering where is my life going to end up. I'm going to college full-time and I'm certainly finally happy. School and financially I'm happy, but personally and mentally I'm not. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. What is a 18year old woman to do with her life when there is some missing piece? 

Wonder

Ever sit and rock yourself back in forth in your bed without realizing it?
Ever lay back within yourself, while huddled next to your pillow and begin to cry for no reason?
Have you ever wondered why certain things can just happen out of the blue and there be no explanation for it??

Well, I do. I often catch myself laying in bed at night looking at my ceiling and then I'll feel a single tear fall upon my face. My face gets warm and then my blood pressure rises without a warning. I don't know why such things happen, nor do I even know the answer to why I begin to think about what could have...could have been. Maybe, it's a chapter in my life that needs to be finished--sometimes I'll tell myself. ? 

Going Nuts?...TERM: Crazy!

Okay, so for some reason I fell that maybe I'm going crazy. I'm not even joking on a matter like this. Exactly where my computer desk sits in the living room, it faces the hallway. I was sitting here adding photos to my Tumblr and then I glanced over at my parents. They were both sitting on the couch so I knew they weren't going anywhere, but then I looked into the hallway and I could have sworn I seen a shadow walking towards the living room. I'm NOT crazy! Maybe, I'm just sitting on this computer for too long today. I glanced back at the hallway and the shadow figure was gone. Or maybe it would be the possibility of not sleeping yet. 

Tumblr

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NEW OBSESSIONS of TV(:

Alright, so in the Summer of 2012 I'm not obsessed with some new T.V. shows (not really new, just my new obsessions). If you HAVE NOT seen any of these shows, I recommend a little couch time to watch them!

1. Supernatural;

2. An American Horror Story:

3. Once Upon a Time:

4. AWKWARD.

Wanting to Start A-new!

Sometimes, after reading everything that I've written on my blog..I want to start a new one and begin fresh. That's just something that I can't do. I've had this blog since 2008 and I've recently realized that if I were to start over, then I wouldn't know where to begin. It's like life, you can't just say I've never done that or I don't know what you're talking about. You can't erased memories and nightmares. They've happened and they need to be remembered.  In fact, they are what has made you, you. You see this blog has got so many memories built into it, it's like a house. There are some shattered windows, some squeaky floor tiles and even some old rusted door handles, but they are what make the history.
The story is based upon the pages of this blog and it's a story that is forever to be told. 

Learned from my Mistakes

Well, it's July 12, 2012 and I have nothing to do or anything sweeping through my mind. On May 18th, 2012 I made the decision to finally cut myself loose of the heartache and unexpected feeling of being wanted out of my life. I told Jacob that I couldn't deal with him anymore. I mean, C'mon. If you have man that is twenty-two years old and he says he wants to be with you, but makes an excuse to not...then what else is a woman to do? So, I cut the cord and now I feel like I never even had met him. I wasn't attached and that's the good thing. Eleven months of my life that had been wasted on him, but yet...Eleven months of being able to learn. 

Rosco(: My new baby boy. 

I want to start over and start completely new, but I clearly can't do that. My blog has history and I believe that it shouldn't be erased. I am who I have become for a reason. There has been a lot of stuff that's happened over the last few months..Two to be exact.
I don't want to make this too long, but I don't want to make this boring for you either. Let's make this interesting.
There has been a guy in a out of my life, I graduated from high school, a great life has begun for me, and I am beginning college in less than two days!